How to pick your perfect pizza place in South Brooklyn in 5 easy steps:
A. Know your neighborhood. What are your options? Make a check a list of each place and its various attributes:
How old is the pizzeria?
-Is it brand new with a gourmet style pizza chef de cuisine?
-Has it been family owned and has a secret sauce you would need to marry into to find out the ingredients? (Think Sam’s, in Cobble Hill)
-Or are willing to try the neither “highly” reputable nor old place but has a several different options.
-Or is Dominos an acceptable choice? – No judgment, but you are at the end of my checklist.
Does it deliver?
-Is it cold out? Will they come to you?
-Can you get a seat in the restaurant if you are trapped in a polar vortex?
-How long are you ready to wait for a table or conversely wait for it to be delivered?
-What is the risk of take out in terrible weather related conditions if the situation is that you have to leave to get your order?
Knowing the various styles and types you can find in Brooklyn is important. You have your pick of the litter here; knowing your brand is the only way to begin. You always have to know yourself, what are you willingly to do to get the pizza? Otherwise you’re opening yourself to a wormhole in which you will not be able to escape and end up eating Ramen for dinner.
B. Know what you like. This one is very important, and may seem like style/type but is actually drastically different. Once you have made a choice from the four variables above, you then will have a multitude of options in which to choose. Here they are!:
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- Are you a sauce person?
- Are you a cheese person?
- Are you a toppings person?
- Are you a bread person?
Now granted some of these categories overlap, I’m leaving it up to you to prioritize. Personally I hate cheese, white pizza is never on the table for me, I know many of you will think I’m crazy for this; but I can only change so much about myself. Lets move on.
C. Crust. You can never have too many crust varieties, but your choice can change everything. What sort of cheese you put on, or how much sauce there is -your options:
1. Thin – generally more calorie friendly. This choice lends itself to a sub-choice:
– Thin and crispy, more often than not using a coal oven in Brooklyn; you need to think about if you like burnt edge
-Thin and chewy
Both respectable but both have different sauce and cheese distribution.
2. Regular, speaks for itself, New York style pizza
3. Deep dish, this Midwestern style pizza is harder to find in New York. Realistically you’ll find it at Dominos or a specialty pizzeria.
4. Sicilian, Grandma or any other such styles demand a completely separate check list and will not be discussed here
D. Know what you want. Is pizza your only choice? This isn’t about picking the perfect pizza; it’s about picking the perfect pizza place. I could even abbreviate that to #PPP.
Do you have any Vegans?
Some of you may think this a strange thing to consider. But those Vegans don’t want any of your dairy. Not on their pizza, or salad or anywhere else for that matter. It’s your choice of company, but Vegan pizza exists, and it does deliver. That being said this is still number 3 because dairy is more than welcome in my apartment.
Do you want a salad?
-Will house salad be acceptable with a mild and rather bland dressing? Loosely thrown olives with maybe an awkward cucumber on the top? This is once again is a household based decision.
-My household prefers a rich creamy Cesar that is in no way good for your diet but tastes amazing. If it’s a pretend diet day in my apartment, we like to choose the place with a rich Cesar salad. The more Parmesan cheese the better!
Are any other sides on the table?
Wings? This one is tough because wings can range from unseasoned frozen Purdue chicken nuggets posing as wings to smothered delicious meaty Buffalo wings.
Garlic bread?
-Parmesan Garlic Bread?
-Bruschetta Garlic Bread?
-Truffle oil Garlic Bread?
Pasta dishes? –If you have a family (or group of friends) full of young gentlemen, you may need more and different types of Pizza related foods.
E. Are you the only one ordering? The process I described above is my personal checklist for both my mood and setting. When you involve others, my list can be helpful – but it also takes some thoughtful negotiating. My personal advice for group ordering:
- Choose your (one and only) priority [see #2] and stand your ground with it. Don’t ruin the pizza for everyone, and don’t let anyone ruin it for you. Pizza should only be a joyful experience.
- Always order more. This nonsense is fine cold or fine after a fast broil in the oven.
- Toppings realistically should only be discussed amongst closest friends. Don’t be that guy who comes in strong with the anchovies, unless you know your peers.
Pizza is some of the best stuff we got – go in bite first and just enjoy the ride.
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Purposely played with formatting. Wanted to look at for a bit and see what I liked. As always, let me know your thoughts, suggestions or rationale. It’s all about the experience.